Want to express your love in a way that's true to your Marxist politics? (These and other "Communist Valentines" were read aloud by Mo Fathelbab, Chrissie Mayr, and me at the Feb. 11 Manifesto! - a show I co-host at the People's Republic of Brooklyn.) Viva revolución of love!
My Vagina Monologue (NSFW) WATCH ON YOUTUBE
Entries in holidays (20)
This Groundhog Day, Staten Island Chuck once again proved hard to handle for a New York mayor. I caught up with the radical rodent for his frankest interview to date.
Did de Blasio drop you, or did you jump?
Ha! Let’s just say I wriggled.
Was that a political statement?
What do you think? I bit Bloomberg to show my support for the 99%. If you include rodents, the percentage is actually much higher. So, De Blasio got elected as a progressive, but he doesn’t get a free pass. If you want me to interpret my own symbolism, the point was: don’t drop the ball. I’m the ball in that metaphor.
Have you always been a political animal?
Not really. I just do what comes naturally. Look, February 2nd arrives, and I’ve been hibernating. These guys show up with TV cameras, and I’m like, "Hey, it’s not a good time! Do you realize I’ve been living off my own urine for months? I need to eat!" So I just go with my gut, I improvise. The political justification comes later. If you read a lot of Marx and Foucault, you sort of see, "Yeah, that’s why I did that."
CHARLIE BROWN: I think there must be something wrong with me, Linus. Cyber Monday is here, but I’m not excited. I don’t feel the way I’m supposed to feel. I just don’t understand Cyber Monday, I guess. I like ordering gifts online and checking amazon for the hottest deals in electronics, but I’m not fulfilled. I always end up feeling anxious. Think of all the sales I’m not taking advantage of! (Looks at his smartphone.) Like 70%-off this Swingline Optima Reduced Effort Desktop Stapler…good grief! Maybe I'm just not a good digital consumer. And I keep seeing things I want for myself, not for others. (Looks at phone again.) Like this RCA LED55C55R120Q 55-Inch 1080p 120Hz LED HDTV. Aaaarrrrgghh!!!! Doesn’t anybody know the true meaning of Cyber Monday?
LINUS VAN PELT: Charlie Brown, you’re the only person I know who can take a wonderful tradition like Cyber Monday, which benefits both the economy and the consumer, and turn it into a personal crisis.
(Both Charlie Brown and Linus stare at their phones, as jazzy piano music plays.)
...are you ready for dinner guests?
The great Philip Seymour Hoffman takes on one of his most challenging roles. WATCH ON YOUTUBE