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Get Tim's album on iTunes! CASUAL PIMPIN': TWELVE TIGHT TUNES

See Tim perform stand-up:


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Wednesday
May182016

NY Funny Songs Fest Promo w/Jessica Delfino

Had a fun conversation & jam w/Jessica Delfino before the NY Funny Songs Fest. Check out the video & come hang w/us at the Fest, May 19-21! TIX & INFO 

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Tuesday
May172016

NYFSF - The Magic is Almost Here

The 5th (and final) New York Funny Songs Fest is nearly upon us -- hear the clopping of its hooves and prepare to be prodded by it's mythical horn! See me in 2 festival shows:

Thursday, May 19:
7 PM - JUST THE HITS, MAAM

@ The Unicorn (105 Henry St, New York, NY)
A lineup of heavy hitters playing just the hits. Featuring Afterbirth Monkey, Killy Dwyer, Jessica Delfino, Tim Ellis, Rob Paravonian, Rebecca Vigil and Amanda Poryes! Here I'll play an 8-10 min set. - TE
$10 - TIX & INFO

Friday, May 20:
8 PM – 50 FUNNY SONGS
@ Littlefield (622 Degraw St, Brooklyn, NY)
50 comedic musicians each performing one song in a fast-paced musical tornado!
$10 - TIX & INFO

Friday
May132016

Got My Album?

Get it! On iTUNES, AMAZON, or CDBABY.

Wednesday
Mar092016

10 USDA Prime Trump Steaks-Related Jokes

1. You know, I think Donald Trump took “Where’s the beef?” a little too literally.
 
2. Trump said: I’m a good Christian. I loved it when Jesus did the thing with the water and the wine…and the steaks.
 
3. I don’t know if America will buy Trump Steaks, but they sure are buying Trump Bologna! (Old men out there, feel free to use that one.)
 
4. I can’t decide between the Clinton Special-Interest-Fed Filet Mignon and the Sanders Socialist Sirloin Tips (Vegan).
 
5. Waiter: May I interest you in the Jeb Bush Prime Rib? Customer: How is that prepared? Waiter: OK, we take the most expensive steak on the menu and throw it in the garbage for you. (Pause.) Please laugh.
 
6. I just found these Kasich Steak-umms in the freezer – think they’re still good?
 
7. Try the McRubio Steak Sandwich – only for a limited time.
 
8. Cruz Steaks are people!!!!!!!!!!
 
9. Do you guys like impressions? “First prize is the Republican nomination. 2nd prize is a set of Trump Steaks knives. 3rd prize is…‘you’re fired!’” – that was Arnold Schwarzenegger from Trumpgarry Trump Ross.
 
10. I’m assuming Trump Steaks are not halal, right?
 
OK, that’s my time…you guys have been great…please hire me to write for TV!
Friday
Feb192016

A Pigeon Flew into My Head

A pigeon flew into my head this morning. I haven't told anyone yet. It was like someone dropped a small stack of newspapers onto my head from above. It made a thud. I looked up and a pigeon flew away. No one else saw it. I don't mean that it flew into my head, like it's still in there. This isn't magic realism. This is something that happened, and I didn't want the day to go by without mentioning it to someone. Is it good luck? Bad luck? Or do we live in a morally neutral universe where objects occasionally bump into each other at random, like a cosmic pinball machine with no score being kept and possibly not even a player? Anyway, I didn't want to get into all that. I just wanted to note that a pigeon flew into my head this morning.

Friday
Feb122016

ALBUM TRACK: Happy Chinese New Year

Celebrate the Year of the Monkey with this dystopian ditty from my album! Featuring some sweet vocals - & hot mandolin licks! - from my friend Matt Park. With excellent production by birthday boy Orion Keyser. Crank it, share it, & consider yourself warned! 

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