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See Tim perform stand-up @ littlefield! WATCH ON YOUTUBE


"Celebrate Brooklyn" @ My Shows This Week!

I'll be performing stand-up "all over Brooklyn" this week. Like here...

FREE RAD JOKEZ - Wed, 4/22, 8:30 pm
@ Supercollider (in South Slope)
hosted by: Dustin Sherman​

& here...

COMIC SANS - Sat, 4/25, 8 pm
@ Over the Eight (in Williamsburg)
hosted by: Megan McCoy​, Darin Patterson​, & Evan Morgenstern​

Come "Celebrate Brooklyn" early at these fun, free shows!


#TBT: Casual Pimpin' (Music Video)

Spring is here...time to think about those summer fashions! Time once again for CASUAL PIMPIN':



New Project: Updating Classic Song Lyrics

The problem with classic rock is all the outdated tech references to things like records, jukeboxes, phones that people actually answer, etc. I’ve embarked on a project to change that. For instance, this makes much more sense to a modern audience…

♫ "I love rock 'n' roll! Put a Pandora station on the wi-fi, baby!" ♫ 

And here’s one by Bob Seger...

♫ "Just download some old mp3s
iTunes or amazon, don’t matter to me
You can even do it illegally
I like those old time mp3s

Don’t try to get me on Spotify
I wouldn’t even give it a free try
I want my music stored locally
Still like those old time mp3s" ♫

You're welcome. So many more songs to go...


My Cat Gets Up Early

The cat sleeps with us. It’s very cozy, very intimate. But he likes to get up at 4 or 5 in the morning, and he wants us up too. He’ll poke me with his paws and climb the walls to knock the picture frames around. So we put him out of the bedroom. We make him wait until 7, but he scratches at the door. He wants us up! Why? To eat and play. He doesn’t have a big agenda, when you think about it, but he’s insistent. He already has dry food in his bowl, but he wants his wet food. He wants the grilled-salmon Fancy Feast, not the chicken Iams Proactive Health (I guess I would too). He’s scratching at the door like it’s an emergency, like a child is trapped in a well, but all he really wants is slightly better-tasting food, and for me to dangle a piece of twine for him. Like if I pounded on my neighbors’ door, yelling, “Let me in! Let me in!!!” They open the door, and I say, “You got any chips? Any cold cuts? All I have is toast and peanut butter, and I’m tired of it. Oh, and do you mind if I play a few games on your Xbox?”


Supertramp's Keyboard