SEARCH timelliscomedy


See Tim perform stand-up @ littlefield! WATCH ON YOUTUBE


Record-Breaking Rain in NYC - We Did It!

Just want to congratulate everyone for the record rainfall in New York City yesterday. Awesome job letting the rain fall on us, guys! Sure, we complained, but did anyone try to stop the rain? No! That's what makes this city so great - we know how to receive historic precipitation and go about our lives as New Yorkers. Special shout-out to the folks selling cheap umbrellas on the street. Sure, they are worthless pieces of crap. But you guys inspired us all to accumulate more water from the sky on a particular date, which we can all be proud of. Over 2" on 1/18/15. In New York City, baby!


Hello, 2015!


From My Band to Taylor Swift - Music Video

Here's a new song & video from my band, Modern Beast! Consider it our response to Taylor Swift's "Welcome to New York." Contains bad words & much badass-ery! WATCH ON YOUTUBE

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A Thanksgiving Tribute to Philip Seymour Hoffman (& Peppermint Patty)

I don’t know if it’s “too soon” to repost this, but consider it my tribute to the late, great actor (and to Ms. Patty, wherever she is)… WATCH ON YOUTUBE

He was very much alive when I made this, two years ago. I miss him, even though I didn't know him.


MANIFESTO's Big Anniversary Show @ littlefield!

A big show, celebrating a year of shows... JUDAH FRIEDLANDER, BEN KRONBERG & SUE SMITH will add more power to the lineup! (Dave Hill was called out of town by the showbiz authorities.) See you there, comrades! For info & tix ($5 in advance, $8 at door), CLICK HERE.


Rhetorical Questions?

I just found out that my whole life people have been asking me questions I don’t need to answer. Who knew about rhetorical questions?! See, I try to be polite and a good listener. If someone asks me a question, I do my best to respond. Like if I offer you a piece of cake, and you say, “Why not?” I’ll say, “Maybe you don’t need the calories. Or you have a gluten allergy. Or don’t like chocolate.” Or if someone asks me if a bear shits in the woods, I’ll say, “I’m pretty sure they do, since they tend to live in wooded areas and need to defecate.” Or, “Do you always answer questions?” I’ll say, “I try to.” If you ask me something, and I go to the trouble of thinking about it, and then you say, “Um…that was a rhetorical question…” aren’t you kind of being an asshole? Who do you think you are, Socrates? Why don’t you just say what you mean instead of masking it as a question that you already know the answer to, or don’t want answered, which ultimately makes the listener, me, feel stupid? I mean, WTF?!