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See Tim perform stand-up @ littlefield! WATCH ON YOUTUBE

Monday
Jun222015

Official Jeb Bush T-Shirts Are Out!

Friday
Jun122015

Memories of Ornette Coleman

Wish I had some photos of me & Ornette Coleman inventing Free Jazz at the Five Spot back in '59. Suffice it to say, he was a very "out-there" cat. And though he ultimately took jazz in a more conventional direction, our paths will always be intertwined. With me on trombone & him on that crazy plastic sax, we forged a sound that can only be described as "infuriating." I’ll always remember the time Miles said Ornette was "all screwed up inside" (like HE was a bed of roses inside?) and I retaliated by clocking Miles good in the head with my slide, from the stage, while playing the shit out of the Dorian mode. Wild nights! Some cats just didn’t “get” us, and maybe we never “got” each other, but I’ll carry the torch of freedom for you, Orny. Tonight I’ll be blowing out people’s eardrums on the W. 4th Street platform, still searching for the Shape of Jazz to Come.

Thursday
May282015

Get Ready for My Album - Summer Release

Well, I've been hard at work on this album...hoped to have it done by the NY Funny Songs Fest, but the gods said no. Will it be my Pet Sounds, or my Smile? We'll find out soon enough! Getting a lot of help from "& friends" -- the hot band Modern Beast, the multi-talented Matt Park, and a juicy guest vocal by Jessica Delfino​. So, now that the word is out, I'll try to avoid the media and get back to finishing the damn thing! Until then, you can crank up the title jam...

WATCH CASUAL PIMPIN' ON YOUTUBE

Wednesday
May272015

Rockin' the NY Funny Song Fest - 5/29!

I'm hosting this show as part of the NY Funny Songs Fest - it will be funnier than Billy Joel, Frank Sinatra, & Jay-Z/Alicia Keys combined! 

FRI, 5/29, 9 PM - SONGS OF NEW YORK

PARKSIDE LOUNGE
317 E. HOUSTON, NYC
The funniest jams that exist about the big apple. $10
Larry O’Keefe, Ben Rauch, Killy Dwyer, Alphonso Cejudo + Bill Dyszel. Hosted by Tim Ellis. Live streamed by DailyMotion.com

TIX: http://nyfsffrimay29.peatix.com/ 

Wednesday
May132015

Deflategate Finally Broken Down

I know everyone’s been waiting for me to break down Deflategate. It’s like this…

Tom Brady just thought ball deflation was too stupid of a thing for people to ever care about. But Tom was wrong. He grossly underestimated the public’s capacity to care about stupid things.

So who’s stupid now, Tom?

This will be my last word on the subject, unless I think of anything else I want to say about it.

Thursday
Apr092015

New Project: Updating Classic Song Lyrics

The problem with classic rock is all the outdated tech references to things like records, jukeboxes, phones that people actually answer, etc. I’ve embarked on a project to change that. For instance, this makes much more sense to a modern audience…

♫ "I love rock 'n' roll! Put a Pandora station on the wi-fi, baby!" ♫ 

And here’s one by Bob Seger...

♫ "Just download some old mp3s
iTunes or amazon, don’t matter to me
You can even do it illegally
I like those old time mp3s

Don’t try to get me on Spotify
I wouldn’t even give it a free try
I want my music stored locally
Still like those old time mp3s" ♫

You're welcome. So many more songs to go...