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Entries in politics (14)

Wednesday
Mar092016

10 USDA Prime Trump Steaks-Related Jokes

1. You know, I think Donald Trump took “Where’s the beef?” a little too literally.
 
2. Trump said: I’m a good Christian. I loved it when Jesus did the thing with the water and the wine…and the steaks.
 
3. I don’t know if America will buy Trump Steaks, but they sure are buying Trump Bologna! (Old men out there, feel free to use that one.)
 
4. I can’t decide between the Clinton Special-Interest-Fed Filet Mignon and the Sanders Socialist Sirloin Tips (Vegan).
 
5. Waiter: May I interest you in the Jeb Bush Prime Rib? Customer: How is that prepared? Waiter: OK, we take the most expensive steak on the menu and throw it in the garbage for you. (Pause.) Please laugh.
 
6. I just found these Kasich Steak-umms in the freezer – think they’re still good?
 
7. Try the McRubio Steak Sandwich – only for a limited time.
 
8. Cruz Steaks are people!!!!!!!!!!
 
9. Do you guys like impressions? “First prize is the Republican nomination. 2nd prize is a set of Trump Steaks knives. 3rd prize is…‘you’re fired!’” – that was Arnold Schwarzenegger from Trumpgarry Trump Ross.
 
10. I’m assuming Trump Steaks are not halal, right?
 
OK, that’s my time…you guys have been great…please hire me to write for TV!
Monday
Jun222015

Official Jeb Bush T-Shirts Are Out!

Thursday
Feb132014

Communist Valentines

Want to express your love in a way that's true to your Marxist politics? (These and other "Communist Valentines" were read aloud by Mo Fathelbab, Chrissie Mayr, and me at the Feb. 11 Manifesto! - a show I co-host at the People's Republic of Brooklyn.) Viva revolución of love!

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Wednesday
Feb052014

A Talk with Staten Island Chuck

I didn't create this image - thanks to whoever did!This Groundhog Day, Staten Island Chuck once again proved hard to handle for a New York mayor. I caught up with the radical rodent for his frankest interview to date.

Did de Blasio drop you, or did you jump?

Ha! Let’s just say I wriggled.

Was that a political statement?

What do you think? I bit Bloomberg to show my support for the 99%. If you include rodents, the percentage is actually much higher. So, De Blasio got elected as a progressive, but he doesn’t get a free pass. If you want me to interpret my own symbolism, the point was: don’t drop the ball. I’m the ball in that metaphor.

Have you always been a political animal?

Not really. I just do what comes naturally. Look, February 2nd arrives, and I’ve been hibernating. These guys show up with TV cameras, and I’m like, "Hey, it’s not a good time! Do you realize I’ve been living off my own urine for months? I need to eat!" So I just go with my gut, I improvise. The political justification comes later. If you read a lot of Marx and Foucault, you sort of see, "Yeah, that’s why I did that."

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Wednesday
Jul312013

Slutbags Flying Off the Shelves!

Thanks to Anthony Weiner's spokeswoman, there's been a huge uptick in sales of these:

Saturday
Mar092013

POLL: Who's Your Favorite Duo?

Updated on Saturday, March 23, 2013 at 1:03PM by Registered CommenterTim

Please select only one:

A. Laurel and Hardy

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