Get Tim's album on iTunes! CASUAL PIMPIN': TWELVE TIGHT TUNES
See Tim perform stand-up:
A pigeon flew into my head this morning. I haven't told anyone yet. It was like someone dropped a small stack of newspapers onto my head from above. It made a thud. I looked up and a pigeon flew away. No one else saw it. I don't mean that it flew into my head, like it's still in there. This isn't magic realism. This is something that happened, and I didn't want the day to go by without mentioning it to someone. Is it good luck? Bad luck? Or do we live in a morally neutral universe where objects occasionally bump into each other at random, like a cosmic pinball machine with no score being kept and possibly not even a player? Anyway, I didn't want to get into all that. I just wanted to note that a pigeon flew into my head this morning.
Celebrate the Year of the Monkey with this dystopian ditty from my album! Featuring some sweet vocals - & hot mandolin licks! - from my friend Matt Park. With excellent production by birthday boy Orion Keyser. Crank it, share it, & consider yourself warned!
In 2015, I released an album of funny songs, bowled a perfect game, posed for a swimsuit calendar, mapped the human genome, got knighted, got coffee in car with Seinfeld, got schlonged by Trump, swam the Amazon, ordered from amazon, purchased Even More Legroom™, adopted a highway, sold my eggs, won a Nobel, defeated Rhonda Rousey (at chess), went public, went rogue, went to a region where certain fungal infections are common, found nirvana, toured with Nirvana, painted a Picasso, was named new Lord of the Dance, got saved, got same-sex married in 50 states, proved string theory, found the G-spot, became an Eagle Scout, looked at the man in the mirror, thought outside the bun, beat my family at Uno, and sired a colony of clones in a distant galaxy. I hope 2016 is a little more chill.